This week was oddly boring. Given that the guest was J. Lo, that kinda sucks, but, meh, what can you do?

My rankings:

8. Sanjaya Malakar (SHOULD BE BOOTED -- BUT WON'T)

"Besame Mucho"

Yikes, he looks like a pedophile with that facial hair.

He breathed his way through yet another song and will probably survive another week. Can't wait until he gets voted off. I remain firmly convinced that he WILL be booted off eventually and good (singing) will prevail.

7. Phil Stacy (WILL BE BOOTED)

"Maria Maria"

Sgt. Gollum's voice is all wrong for this song. At the risk of offending some people out there, I have to say that he sounds too... um... white to pull off this song. Sorry, but when you say "Maria" like "murreeyuh," it ruins the "Spanish Harlem" part of the song.

6. Haley Scarnato

"Turn the Beat Around"

Awful, awful, awful. How is HeyLegs on this show and not "The Search for the Next Doll?" Her outfits are quickly approaching the "inappropriate for a family show like American Idol" line.

And, as Simon might say, "This is not 'Leg Idol."

Her singing was uneven, over-vibratoed, and just messy all around. I dearly hope she gets the boot after Sgt. Gollum.

5. Chris Richardson

"Smooth"

Not bad, Timberfake, not bad. Not really great, either, but not bad.

Too bad he still couldn't get the pronunciation of "munequita" down (moon yay keeta? What's that?), despite J. Lo's help.

4. Jordin Sparks

"The Rhythm is Gonna Get You"

One of my favorite lines ever from "Friends" was when Chandler said, "Maybe Gloria Estefan was right and, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you." Hee!!

Jordin's performance, unfortunately, wasn't quite gotten by the rhythm. Her voice is good, but this isn't the sort of song to really showcase one's voice. You've gotta remember that Gloria Estefan's voice isn't that great; it's really her stage presence that made her career (kinda like someone else we know *cough*PAULA*cough*).

3. Blake Lewis

"I Need to Know"

I think this was the least boring performance of the night. It wasn't the best vocal, but it was the least boring, which is saying something.

And Blake is a cutie-patootie, which helps.

2. LaKisha Jones
"Conga"

Much like Jordin, LaKisha was done in by a song that was too fast to showcase her vocal prowess. On top of all that, LaKisha is consistently boring. She has a great voice, but it's like singing that well drains her of any personality whatsoever.

1. Melinda Doolittle (SHOULD WIN IT)

"Sway"

This was not her best performance; since she went on first, I was quite disappointed, thinking this would be the first week I'd have to put her in the middle of the pack. Fortunately for me, everyone was mediocre so I can put her at the top with a clear conscience once again.

The song was an iffy choice that probably seemed good at the time she picked it. It was pretty clear that she was uncomfortable with the "sexy" vibe she was supposed to send forth this week (which I actually found a little endearing).

Still, I think she and LaKisha are the most solid performers and she has the personality edge over LaKisha.

Also: I covet that dress and those shoes.

What did you guys think?